First off I want to thank the gent who was the first to write a comment on one of my blogs. Thanks for the advice and I hope the comments keep comming because it makes this all worth while. Instead of studying I have been spending alot of my time contemplating the future. As I am nearing the completion of my first degree, I can't decide what my next move should be. Do I keep studying and get another degree? Do I get a masters? Or do I jump right into a career? So that BS has been keeping me busy for a while. As for getting some action? I am still reliant upon my hand. Sometimes to pass time I browse through personal adds just to see whats all out there. I don't act on them, instead I use them to see if maybe there was a guy that I would honestly be interested in. Unfortunately, the type of guys that I find attractive are never gay. Atleast not openly. I have a few gay friends so I have met quite a few gay people through them. Even though many were attractive, it seems that as soon as I find out someone is openly gay, I am instantly not attracted to them. This is probably just becuase I am in the closet and don't want to be associated with any stereotype. The above pic is of professional Rugby player Daniel Conn. This guy reminds me alot of Steve (the guy I mentioned it my previous post). A game I often play in my head is: Is that guy gay or straight? Obviously there isn't anyway of knowing if a person is gay or straight, but sometimes by the way a person acts you can have your suspicions. One thing that I have noticed is that gay people (regardless if they are open or not) generally seem to be nicer than usual? I think this has something to do with the fact that gay people are gifted with an open mind and can be much more emotional due to the struggle with their sexuality. I know this is true in my case. Every person, expecially the girls that I have met, all label me as the "nice guy" or "sweetheart". And all of my friends would refer to me as the "ladies man". I always thought that was rather ironic.
søndag 6. mars 2011
No Escape From Reality
First off I want to thank the gent who was the first to write a comment on one of my blogs. Thanks for the advice and I hope the comments keep comming because it makes this all worth while. Instead of studying I have been spending alot of my time contemplating the future. As I am nearing the completion of my first degree, I can't decide what my next move should be. Do I keep studying and get another degree? Do I get a masters? Or do I jump right into a career? So that BS has been keeping me busy for a while. As for getting some action? I am still reliant upon my hand. Sometimes to pass time I browse through personal adds just to see whats all out there. I don't act on them, instead I use them to see if maybe there was a guy that I would honestly be interested in. Unfortunately, the type of guys that I find attractive are never gay. Atleast not openly. I have a few gay friends so I have met quite a few gay people through them. Even though many were attractive, it seems that as soon as I find out someone is openly gay, I am instantly not attracted to them. This is probably just becuase I am in the closet and don't want to be associated with any stereotype. The above pic is of professional Rugby player Daniel Conn. This guy reminds me alot of Steve (the guy I mentioned it my previous post). A game I often play in my head is: Is that guy gay or straight? Obviously there isn't anyway of knowing if a person is gay or straight, but sometimes by the way a person acts you can have your suspicions. One thing that I have noticed is that gay people (regardless if they are open or not) generally seem to be nicer than usual? I think this has something to do with the fact that gay people are gifted with an open mind and can be much more emotional due to the struggle with their sexuality. I know this is true in my case. Every person, expecially the girls that I have met, all label me as the "nice guy" or "sweetheart". And all of my friends would refer to me as the "ladies man". I always thought that was rather ironic.
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Just came across your blog. Of all that I have read, your story sounds the most familiar - `the mind-set, the girl friend, the long distance relationship, the attractions, the crush(es). Unfortunately, I don't have any good advice for you, because I went on to marriage, kids and a life-long struggle with who I am and who I should be. If I could have even have had a blog like this to allow me to be honest with myself, would things have turned out differently? Would I have wanted them to? Dunno. Please keep writing.
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